I’ve never really found my blogging stride. I’ve never really been able to niche down, or pick a topic.
I don’t know if I should swear or not. I mean, I swear a lot in real life, but that doesn’t come across as professional, does it? I don’t know if I want to get too personal, or keep it vague, but I actually prefer sharing way too much information… I don’t know if I should talk about my family or friends, or if they’d rather I not. I don’t know what I’m doing online. I’ve never really known what the heck I’m doing online!
And I don’t know if I’ll ever figure it out.
What I do know is that I’m trying to stop worrying so much about it. I need to stop trying to hide who I am, and start embracing myself. I need to stop caring what other people think. I’m so scared of offending people, or making myself look like an idiot.
The truth is, I’m a fucking freak. I’m a freak in the sense that I’m always trying to filter myself, online and in-person.
At some point I decided I was too awkward to be myself. So I tried to act normal. I kept my mouth shut. I pretended to not care. I acted like everything was totally cool. And on the inside I was dying to burst out into song, or dance around in public, or scream at someone for expressing an opinion I didn’t agree with.
So maybe it’s time to let myself give a shit. Maybe it’s time I stopped caring so much. Maybe it’s time I stop overthinking every step, every word, every action that I take. Maybe I need to just let go of this social anxiety.
Maybe then I’ll know what the heck I’m doing.
For now, I’m going to try and figure it out. My life, I mean. And, blogging, too. And how do I plan to do this?
Welcome, to my lifestyle goals.
I’ve decided that in an effort to start really embracing myself and my life, it was time to start actively working towards my goals.
I have a list of things I want in life. It’s posted on my wall in a list and as a vision board, but I haven’t really done anything to work towards any of them. Other than getting my hair cut. I like short hair but I was too scared to cut it for a long time.
So these are my goals. These are the things I want in life.
- Go Vegetarian
- Then Go Vegan
- Stop Eating Out
- Make Food From Scratch
- Workout 3x a Week
- Wake Up at 6 a.m.
- Find a Personal Style I Can Jive With
- Earn Full-time Income From Home
- Buy a New Car
- Grow Instagram to 10K Followers
- Grow Twitter to 10K Followers
- Get 20K Monthly Pageviews
- Get All A’s in School
- Pay Off Consumer Debt
- Save Enough Money for a Down Payment
- Pay Off Student Loan
- Declutter Entire House
- Live Green
- Write a Memoir
I’m not expecting any of this to happen over night. I’m not saying I’m going to work on every goal at once. I am saying that these are things I want to accomplish in life, whether it’s an immediate lifestyle change or a gradual one.
So I’m going to try. Every day. Every meal. Every opportunity. Step by step, I’m going to work towards my goals.
P.S. – I totally swore in this post 😉
Can you relate at all? Do you have a hard time expressing yourself? Did you find it hard to start blogging, and knowing what to say? Do you feel like you just totally need to make over your entire life?!