Before we get started: stop being like everybody else!
The past few years I’ve been blogging have been a whirlwind of advice, changes and constant learning and I love it! But at some point I have to wonder, am I being too influenced by the other blogs I read? Everywhere I look online I’m bombarded with new ecourses, worksheets and newsletters promising me I’ll be able to make thousands of dollars and gain tons of new followers if I simply sign up, pay up or follow their direct instructions.
In the last year there has been an influx of blogs about blogging, marketing, entrepreneurship and online business advice. And that’s cool because a lot of us want to learn about all that; we want to grow our own businesses and reap the benefits of being boss babes. But the thing that’s bugging me lately is how everyone seems to be doing the same thing, or rather, trying to imitate someone else’s success and totally losing themselves in it.
I don’t want to read blog after blog that sounds like it is written by the exact same person. I want to read a blog that has personality, something new to offer or at least feels more interesting.
If you write about blogging or building an online business (hey, I do, too!) that’s awesome! Keep at it! But, I mean, can you maybe sometimes post about other things, too? Or at least write in a way that screams “this was written by me!”
The blogs I’m drawn to aren’t because of the topic or the value – I can get that from a million different blogs and books – but because of the blogger who writes it. This goes for basically any topic you blog about, whether it’s baking or crafts or even pets. It even includes your social media accounts and the way you act in person.
So stop being like everybody else and just be yourself. And if you do that, you’re going to be a rock star at whatever you do.
Being yourself can be scary though. It’s one thing to get rejected when you’re faking it, but to truly be you and then get rejected is painful. I know. But I mean, at some point you just have to say fuck it because it always feels way better to just be yourself.
How do you stop being like everybody else?
I’m glad you asked because this is something I’ve been working pretty hard at and it feels awesome.
Discover Who You Are
You can’t be yourself if you don’t even know who are. Believe it or not, a lot of people actually don’t really know themselves that well because they don’t take the time to.
We’re constantly being bombarded with information and that can make us lose sight of ourselves. It makes me think of the movie Josie and the Pussycats, and the record label is brainwashing teens to sell them stuff. So those teens are like, “OMG orange is my new favourite colour!” all because they were told it was. And while that’s a bit dramatic, it’s kind of true.
So I dare you to tune out all of that noise and get to know yourself. One way you can do that is by writing it down; get out a notebook and just write down all the things you love and enjoy.
To start, try listing your favourite things:
I highly recommend starting a daily journal practice to get to know yourself better. Consider it a safe space to just talk about whatever you want or like having a conversation with yourself.
Related: The Benefits of Keeping a Journal
Don’t Compare Yourself
Easier said than done, but eventually you have to stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
I struggle with this all the time. I see someone who’s better at drawing, who has better style, who has more Instagram followers or is just like, kicking ass at life. But what I don’t see is what goes on behind closed doors. We all have our own demons and struggles in life, so while that person may seem like they got their shit together they probably don’t. And even if they do, don’t hate on yourself because you’re still figuring it out.
We’re also all so different and unique, from our genetics to our upbringing and situations. Comparing yourself to someone else is completely unfair to both you and them.
While it is really difficult to quit this bad habit (and that’s totally what it is), you’ll be happier even just trying. To get started take notice of whenever you start comparing yourself to someone else and nip it in the bud. Then to turn it around think of all the things you’re grateful for about yourself.
Stop Caring What Others Think
Again, so much easier said than done! I still care what people think and I’ve been consciously trying not to my whole life. But the people that I’m the most myself around are the people I have the most fun with. They care about me the most and we have the strongest relationships and that is a clear sign that it’s totally worth it to just stop giving a fuck what others think.
So to do this it helps to remind yourself that:
- Nobody really cares that much anyway. They’re too busy thinking about themselves to really stop and think about you, too.
- You’re never going to please everybody no matter you do, so it’s better to just do you.
- When you stop caring what others think that’s when you meet people who you really jive with!
Surround Yourself With People Who Love You
Yes! When you get to know yourself and stop caring what others think, you’ll start meeting people who really love and support you. ‘Cause people can tell when you’re being fake and they don’t like it. When you’re yourself and not giving a damn people will know and they’ll respect the hell out of you.
Which makes surrounding yourself with people who love you a whole lot easier. ‘Cause they love you for you! And anyone who doesn’t, fuck ’em. Kick them to the curb. You don’t that negativity in your life.
Don’t Chase Likes
This is one of my favourites because so many of us are constantly trying to grow our social media followers and gain those likes, retweets, shares and all that. Growing your online presence isn’t a crime! However, if you end up posting things just to get likes rather than something genuine and interesting, well that should be!
This can be applied to other things in life, too. Don’t just do something because you think it will get someone to like you more. You don’t always need approval.
Be Your Own BFF
What I mean is, treat yourself the same way you would treat a dear friend. Show yourself love, patience, kindness and forgiveness. Love yourself! And when you do, all of this other stuff will come so much easier.
Allow Yourself to Grow
This was a really difficult thing for me to wrap my head around when I started practicing self-love. I had always pushed myself forward with thoughts of self-hate, and learning that I could accept myself for who I am right now and still work on myself was so difficult.
So I just want to remind you that you can totally be yourself right now, as you are, and love this version of you, and still want to improve yourself. For example, you might want to lose weight or get better at drawing, or whatever, and still love your body or appreciate your art as it is right now. Mind-blowing right?
If you’re an online business owner, I read this great quote in an interview with Gala Darling and she said, “But what I realized is if your readers like you and what you do, then they’re usually really happy to pay for more access to get more of it.”
In other words, be yourself and you’ll find your tribe – people who really like you for you and they’ll be willing to support anything you do.
Have you ever caught yourself trying to be like somebody else? What are some things you do to truly be yourself?