Stop Being like Everybody Else

Ugh.

Okay.

Before we get started: stop being like everybody else!

The past few years I’ve been blogging have been a whirlwind of advice, changes and constant learning and I love it! But at some point I have to wonder, am I being too influenced by the other blogs I read? Everywhere I look online I’m bombarded with new ecourses, worksheets and newsletters promising me I’ll be able to make thousands of dollars and gain tons of new followers if I simply sign up, pay up or follow their direct instructions.

In the last year there has been an influx of blogs about blogging, marketing, entrepreneurship and online business advice. And that’s cool because a lot of us want to learn about all that; we want to grow our own businesses and reap the benefits of being boss babes. But the thing that’s bugging me lately is how everyone seems to be doing the same thing, or rather, trying to imitate someone else’s success and totally losing themselves in it.

I don’t want to read blog after blog that sounds like it is written by the exact same person. I want to read a blog that has personality, something new to offer or at least feels more interesting.

If you write about blogging or building an online business (hey, I do, too!) that’s awesome! Keep at it! But, I mean, can you maybe sometimes post about other things, too? Or at least write in a way that screams “this was written by me!”

The blogs I’m drawn to aren’t because of the topic or the value – I can get that from a million different blogs and books – but because of the blogger who writes it. This goes for basically any topic you blog about, whether it’s baking or crafts or even pets. It even includes your social media accounts and the way you act in person.

So stop being like everybody else and just be yourself. And if you do that, you’re going to be a rock star at whatever you do.

Being yourself can be scary though. It’s one thing to get rejected when you’re faking it, but to truly be you and then get rejected is painful. I know. But I mean, at some point you just have to say fuck it because it always feels way better to just be yourself.

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How do you stop being like everybody else?

I’m glad you asked because this is something I’ve been working pretty hard at and it feels awesome.

Discover Who You Are

You can’t be yourself if you don’t even know who are. Believe it or not, a lot of people actually don’t really know themselves that well because they don’t take the time to.

We’re constantly being bombarded with information and that can make us lose sight of ourselves. It makes me think of the movie Josie and the Pussycats, and the record label is brainwashing teens to sell them stuff. So those teens are like, “OMG orange is my new favourite colour!” all because they were told it was. And while that’s a bit dramatic, it’s kind of true.

So I dare you to tune out all of that noise and get to know yourself. One way you can do that is by writing it down; get out a notebook and just write down all the things you love and enjoy.

To start, try listing your favourite things:

  • colour
  • animals
  • movies
  • bands
  • clothes
  • authors
  • food

I highly recommend starting a daily journal practice to get to know yourself better. Consider it a safe space to just talk about whatever you want or like having a conversation with yourself.

Related: The Benefits of Keeping a Journal

Don’t Compare Yourself

Easier said than done, but eventually you have to stop comparing yourself to everyone else.

I struggle with this all the time. I see someone who’s better at drawing, who has better style, who has more Instagram followers or is just like, kicking ass at life. But what I don’t see is what goes on behind closed doors. We all have our own demons and struggles in life, so while that person may seem like they got their shit together they probably don’t. And even if they do, don’t hate on yourself because you’re still figuring it out.

We’re also all so different and unique, from our genetics to our upbringing and situations. Comparing yourself to someone else is completely unfair to both you and them.

While it is really difficult to quit this bad habit (and that’s totally what it is), you’ll be happier even just trying. To get started take notice of whenever you start comparing yourself to someone else and nip it in the bud. Then to turn it around think of all the things you’re grateful for about yourself.

Stop Caring What Others Think

Again, so much easier said than done! I still care what people think and I’ve been consciously trying not to my whole life. But the people that I’m the most myself around are the people I have the most fun with. They care about me the most and we have the strongest relationships and that is a clear sign that it’s totally worth it to just stop giving a fuck what others think.

So to do this it helps to remind yourself that:

  1. Nobody really cares that much anyway. They’re too busy thinking about themselves to really stop and think about you, too.
  2. You’re never going to please everybody no matter you do, so it’s better to just do you.
  3. When you stop caring what others think that’s when you meet people who you really jive with!

Surround Yourself With People Who Love You

Yes! When you get to know yourself and stop caring what others think, you’ll start meeting people who really love and support you. ‘Cause people can tell when you’re being fake and they don’t like it. When you’re yourself and not giving a damn people will know and they’ll respect the hell out of you.

Which makes surrounding yourself with people who love you a whole lot easier. ‘Cause they love you for you! And anyone who doesn’t, fuck ’em. Kick them to the curb. You don’t that negativity in your life.

Don’t Chase Likes

This is one of my favourites because so many of us are constantly trying to grow our social media followers and gain those likes, retweets, shares and all that. Growing your online presence isn’t a crime! However, if you end up posting things just to get likes rather than something genuine and interesting, well that should be!

This can be applied to other things in life, too. Don’t just do something because you think it will get someone to like you more. You don’t always need approval.

Be Your Own BFF

What I mean is, treat yourself the same way you would treat a dear friend. Show yourself love, patience, kindness and forgiveness. Love yourself! And when you do, all of this other stuff will come so much easier.

Allow Yourself to Grow

This was a really difficult thing for me to wrap my head around when I started practicing self-love. I had always pushed myself forward with thoughts of self-hate, and learning that I could accept myself for who I am right now and still work on myself was so difficult.

So I just want to remind you that you can totally be yourself right now, as you are, and love this version of you, and still want to improve yourself. For example, you might want to lose weight or get better at drawing, or whatever, and still love your body or appreciate your art as it is right now. Mind-blowing right?

Related: 10 Ways to Make Change Happen in Your Life

If you’re an online business owner, I read this great quote in an interview with Gala Darling and she said, “But what I realized is if your readers like you and what you do, then they’re usually really happy to pay for more access to get more of it.”

In other words, be yourself and you’ll find your tribe – people who really like you for you and they’ll be willing to support anything you do.


Have you ever caught yourself trying to be like somebody else? What are some things you do to truly be yourself?

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16 Comments

  1. All so important!! I loved the post. Like they always say, “stop trying to be like someone else, they’re already taken”…and “when you stay in your lane, there’ll be no traffic”!! Being yourself, is the best thing you can do for YOURSELF!

  2. Ahh completely agree, there are so many blogs which blog for other bloggers now instead of themselves and it’s a shame as many were blogs filled with personality and originality. Problem is it’s hard to stand out in the crowd and it’s a crowd everybody wants to be noticed in! x

    • cole.n@hotmail.ca Reply

      I agree, a lot of people are jumping on the blog train. And since we all blog we kind of have that passion in common. So I get it! But I wish blogs could still blog about blogging, but also about other topics, too. Like if you like dogs blog about dogs, and maybe also blog about how to blog about dogs or something. I don’t know. I just really miss those personal lifestyle blogs people used to share.

  3. Cole I’ve been feeling thee EXACT same sentiments lately. I also like connecting with the person more than the content. I totally agree with this and am glad you took the time to write it. Yes! Let’s be ourselves! Thank you for sharing ❤️

    • cole.n@hotmail.ca Reply

      Thanks! The person behind the blog totally make it worth reading or not. Thanks for taking the time to read this lengthy post ha ha!

  4. I think too many people start blogging thinking it’s a quick easy money maker. They see their favorite bloggers, who are huge, and they compare themselves to those women! The passion to simply write great content that means a lot to the writer isn’t there, it’s just about numbers and followers. It’s like the popularity game from school at times and that original passion needs to come back.

    Ellie
    http://Www.Maplesyrupandteacups.blogspot.com

    • cole.n@hotmail.ca Reply

      I know! When I first started blogging in 2012 I had heard of people who were making money from blogging but it wasn’t like today. Yes, the original passion totally needs to come back! It’s okay to want to do well and achieve good numbers and followers, but originality and passion should always come first.

  5. So true, I will likely hang around someone’s blog for a while and give them a follow if they have a bit of personality in their writing and have given me a laugh. Even including a couple of swear words in your post will make me like you a bit more (well depends on the context 😉) but even I’m guilty of writing formal as that’s what the websites tell you when you look up “How to gain more followers” as they say it is more professional. Maybe I should take a leaf out of your book & just say “Fuck it!” and be more “me”

    • cole.n@hotmail.ca Reply

      When I first started blogging I never swore, but I do now because that’s just how I talk. At my job and in my professional writing I never swear (obviously) because I know how to be professional baha, but I feel like this is my space so I might as well do as I please. Do what feels right for you! And if people don’t like swearing then they probably aren’t my peeps anyway 🙂

  6. I love this post! And completely agree with everything you wrote. I personally am a big fan of journaling and I think that is one of the best ways to get to know yourself, what you really want to do and why. Once you know those things you can stop doing things just because others do the same and start being your own person.

    • cole.n@hotmail.ca Reply

      Thank you! Yesss journaling is the best!

    • cole.n@hotmail.ca Reply

      Thank you so much! And yes, people totally should, in whatever way that works for them.

  7. could not agree more, you shouldn’t be trying to be like everyone else and definitely don’t chase likes. I’ve always been an advocate of being yourself and making yourself happy, it’s hard sometimes but it’s definitely worth it and causes a lot less stress in your life 🙂

    • cole.n@hotmail.ca Reply

      That’s awesome! It is actually way less stressful just being yourself. I wish I learned that a long time ago ha ha!

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